My story is a journey of faith. Not to the point that God knew what was best, but that He knew what was best FOR ME. There are lots of reasons – legitimate ones in my book – that led me down the path of artificial birth control. A self-worth almost non-existent, a mom who projected her fear of just about everything onto me, a young marriage that really did not know how to communicate on these kinds of issues, and a broken heart over the loss of 2 pregnancies. But mostly it was my fear of failing that kept me from trusting in God completely, kept me from trusting my husband, myself. So it was about control and power and I was the one in charge.
After a few years of married life on the pill, we decided it was time to start a family. Five or so years later we still were not pregnant. We started investigating possible reasons this might not be working. Around the same time, I began spending time with women who embraced God’s love and plan for marriage and family and I began surrounding myself with families who loved Christ so much, you could see it in everything they did. This, my friends, began to rub off. And one day a week or so before we were heading to Dominion Fertility to see what was what, I had a reversion. I told God “Thy Will Be Done” and meant it for the first time in my life. Turns out I got pregnant three or so days later and never needed to return to the “fertility specialist.;” I had already had my appointment with the best – God Himself!
And so began my journey of faith with NFP. It was bumpy and not consistent. I wish I had been more educated on how NFP works, because not having the full instruction, if you will, I believe we missed out on a lot. I think having this as a part of our marriage would have truly strengthened us as a couple much earlier in our life together. And I will tell you that once we stopped using artificial birth control our intimate time together became so much more. And though we have come through some fire together stronger for sure, there are times when we struggle with topics or issues that I suspect had we been more open to life and GOD’S plan from the beginning, not ours, we’d find ourselves resolving things differently.
Now, I have three incredible earthly daughters (and three blessed heavenly children) and am here to tell about it. That is a great gift that I do not take for granted. I heard a priest say the other day, “You have to have a few cracks here and there so the light can come through and shine, right?” I truly believe that my brokenness led to God’s light being able to shine right on in. Now I hope to offer witness to you.
Submitted from Virginia